She’s Crafty, She’s just my type.

I am not Crafty, well, not Martha Crafty.  I am more Beastie Boys Crafty.  Or at least I used to be before I was possessed with the spirit of Christmas.  Recently, behind closed doors I am not “kicking bass” with the Beastie Boys.  I am getting my craft on with my kids (and my husband when I can con him in to participating.)

It is time to come out of hiding.  My name is Kelly and I am an overachieving Christmas Crafting Stay at Home Mom with a moderate addiction to Pinterest. When I say that something is So Cute I am not being snarky.  Not any more.  I am trying to figure out how you made it and wondering if I can get out of the art supply store for less than $20 with all the supplies I need to recreate the aforementioned Cute.  You don’t believe me?  I will give you two examples.  Because three examples would be too show-offy (but I can’t  promise I won’t be back.)

Part Craft and Part Cookie – the Christmas Coal

coal1

Supplies needed:

  • Entire package of Oreos (minus a couple, let’s be honest.)
  • Entire bag of marshmallows (minus two, one for me and one for my medium sized helper)
  • 4 tbsp of butter (I didn’t eat any of the butter.  I’d just had two Oreos and a marshmallow, people, jeez.  I was full, nothing against butter.)

Instructions:

  1. Put Oreos in your food processor.  Contemplate how long you have had your food processor while you explain that the weird smell of burned out motor is totally fine. (Seven years, since the medium sized helper was a baby.)
  2. Grease an 8×8 pan.  I am currently in love with silicone baking pans. Do what you will with that information.
  3. Throw the marshmallows in the microwave (or on your stove top if you are anti-microwave and totally pro making things difficult for yourself.) Do not do this until all of your cookies are totally pulverized.  (Note: I will PULVERIZE YOUR COOKIES! is an excellent and subtly profane threat, file it away for later use.)
  4. Melt your butter and fluff up your marshmallows (about 90 seconds.)
  5. Stir your cookies in to your marshmallowy buttery deliciousness.
  6. Keep your smallest helper from falling off the back of the step stool.  Ignore the fact that your medium sized helper almost doesn’t need the step stool or you will begin to weep.
    kidscoal
  7. Press the gooey mess of cookie marshmallow goodness into the pan.  Throw it in the back of your fridge for a few days until it is good and cold.
  8. Slice it up in to coal sized squares and put it in cute plastic bags that you might have in the bottom of last year’s Christmas Crap I Did Not Need to Buy box.  Throw them in a bowl on your counter next to your seasonally appropriate night light which you totally have because you are slowly turning in to a person you don’t even recognize.
    coal2

Now, you are thinking Pffft… she microwaves.  You are non-plussed. But you have not yet seen The Christmas Kid Craft. The one you make for the grandparents and that you end up having to make more of because they are so damn cute you need to save some for yourself.

Now I don’t know about you (well, actually I do, you are reading a Crafty Craft Blog, so I know more than you probably care to admit) but I’d guess you just love a seasonal hand towel.  Who in their right mind does not love a seasonal hand towel?  Well, people that would rather have a Kid Craft.

Boom.

Seasonal Hand Towel Kid Craft.

towel1

Supplies:

  • Muslin Kitchen towels (You can find these for about a buck a piece or less if you can find them in five or ten packs.  They are in the kitchen section near the bar towels and such.)
  • Paint, cheapie acrylic paint is fine or fabric paint if you prefer.  Brown, red, yellow and green
  • Four foam brushes, the small ones
  • Cardboard pieces to slide inside the towels once they are folded to keep the paint from soaking through more than one layer of towel
  • A thin black marker/pen/Sharpie
  • Adorable family members – big and small

Instructions:

  1. Add ironing to the ever growing list of things I do that mystify the old me.  Iron the towels in to the shape you like best.  I like mine to be folded such that the hemmed edges are at the bottom since they tend to stay straighter after washing.
  2. Slip a piece of cardboard under the top layer of hand towel.
  3. Talk someone in to helping you if your smallest helper is tiny.  Apply paint to one foot with a foam brush.  Stamp the foot on the towel.  Reapply paint and stamp as many as you’d like.  (Note: Pretend your tiny helper is a ticking time bomb.  Act fast.  Make sure you have cleaned out your sink before this step so that the paint covered  kid can hop right in there before putting their feet in their mouth.)
    mqdlqtowel
  4. Do it all one more time!  With the second foot create the other side of your tree.
  5. On to the reindeer!  Using a paint covered hand stamp a couple of towels with a brown hand.
    emtowel
  6. Add a red nose and antlers to your reindeer.  Add a star and a tree trunk to your tree.  Stand back and admire your handiwork.

Now pop those bad boys in the mail with a 5×7 of your young’ins and just wait for your phone to ring.  As the accolades roll in try to avoid saying “Yeah, I saw it on Pinterest, they were only  a dollar a piece!!”

Instead say “Oh, the towels, yes!” as if you had forgotten all about them, I mean you are crafting daily who can keep track? “The kids made those, how cute are they?” you’ll say while you beam with pride.

And then go clean the paint out of your kitchen sink.  Stainless steel doesn’t mean you never have to scrub it.

4 thoughts on “She’s Crafty, She’s just my type.

  1. lmao – this reminded me of when The Daughter was the same size as your small one. I remember painting coat after coat of colour onto cardboard rabbits ears. Once they were hard as a rock I stuck them onto headbands for the kids to wear at a b’day party. And then I made a dollshouse out of matchboxes…. Yes…. Good times….

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